Game of the Week 1

Miami (7-5) at Toronto Bills (6-6)

What do the Dolphins fear? A cold trip to Buffalo, where they have lost their last four visits by an average of two touchdowns. So what does 90-year-old Ralph Wilson do? He moves the game indoors at the Rogers Centre in Toronto. But Toronto is the home of the History of Contraception Museum. And if it's still open, the Bondage Bed & Breakfast. Wait a second, were we talking Football? Ralphie and I got distracted.

LINE: Bills by 1.

JERRY: Fish by 12.

Jacksonville (4-8) at Chicago (6-6)

Remember John Madden? Last week he was talking about how one of the Bears is great at forcing fumbles. Said John: "He's one of the best strippers in the league." Al Michaels quickly jumped in with a droll: "So to speak." I love droll.

LINE: Bears by 6 1/2.

JERRY: Bears by 11.

Philadelphia (6-5-1) at ER Giants (11-1)

Plaxico Burress. He went to a club with a gun in his pants and shot himself. My friends, surely you've heard all the one-liners. And even if you haven't, I can't use them. At least, I can't use the good ones. "Is that a gun in your pants . . . ?"

LINE: Giants by 7.

JERRY: Giants by 12.

Cleveland (4-8) at Tennessee (11-1)

Suppose someone before the season privately asked about why QB Ken "Lame Arm" Dorsey was on the Browns' roster. You know the answer would have been because he'll never play, sitting behind Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn. Oops.

LINE: Titans by 14.

JERRY: Titans by 20.

Atlanta (8-4) at New Orleans (6-6)

"We sit here at 6-6 and it's disappointing," said Saints Coach Sean Payton. There was a limerick from grade school that I have rewritten for the Saints: "Here I sit brokenhearted -- tried to win the Super Bowl and never got started."

LINE: Saints by 3.

JERRY: Falcons by 1.

Cincinnati (1-10-1) at Indianapolis (8-4)

Listen to Bungles Coach Marvin Lewis: "This team won't have to go through another season like this. Nor will the fans." What does that mean? Are the Bungles folding? Or are they just moving? Orlando may be looking for a new Arena team.

LINE: Colts by 13 1/2.

JERRY: Colts by 17.

Houston (5-7) at Green Bay (5-7)

You think the Packers miss Brett Favre? Here's what Coach Mike McCarthy said: "Our quarterback position has played at a very high level this year." Your quarterback position? His name is Aaron Rodgers! Check your roster.

LINE: Pack by 6.

JERRY: Pack by 10.

Minnesota (7-5) at Detroit (0-12)

Could this be the Lions' lone victory? After all, they lost just 12-10 in Minnesota when QB Dan Orlovsky ran out of the end zone for a safety. So if you believe the Lions can win, I also want to talk to you about a great time-share opportunity.

LINE: No line.

JERRY: Vikes by 14.

Game of the Week 2 Dallas (8-4) at Pittsburgh (9-3)

Cowboy LB Bradie James: "We're getting some swagger." With the Steelers, Giants, Ravens and Eagles ahead, I'd lock up that swagger and hold on tight. Pitt QB Ben Roethlisberger was complaining about how good his team's defense was against New England: "You get to the sidelines, put your coat and hat on, and all of a sudden, you have to go back on the field." Aw, poor baby. But don't tell James. He's too busy counting his swagger.

LINE: Steelers by 3.

JERRY: Steelers by 6.

ER Jets (8-4) at San Francisco (8-4)

Niners' Coach Mike Singletary said "I hate [the term] 'spoiler' but . . . " Don't we all, Mike? Like the time before The Wrath of Khan opened and some Dumbo writer let it out that Spock dies at the end. Oh, wait -- I was that Dumbo writer.

LINE: Jets by 4.

JERRY: Jets by 8.

Kansas City (2-10) at Denver (7-5)

Broncos CB Dre' Bly said: "We're sitting pretty right now." What? You lost to the Chiefs 33-19 in Week 4 when Larry Johnson ran for 198 yards. And you've lost your last three home games, including to Oakland 31-10. Are you nuts?

LINE: Broncos by 9.

JERRY: Broncos by 1.

St. Louis (2-10) at Arizona (7-5)

The Cards found a silver lining after a 48-20 beating on Thanksgiving in Philadelphia. "Not a whole lot of people get the NFL Network," said DL Bryan Robinson about the Philly disgrace. Good luck finding work, Bryan, after that remark.

LINE: Cards by 14.

JERRY: Cards by 21.

New England (7-5) at Seattle (2-10)

Looking way past this Seaturkey game to a trip next year to London to play the Bucs, Patriots G Logan Mankins said: "I don't really want to go to London if I didn't have to." Not to worry, Logan, as the team can make sure you get to stay home.

LINE: Pats by 4 1/2.

JERRY: Pats by 6.

Washington (7-5) at Baltimore (8-4)

After switch to Sunday night, Ravens Coach John Harbaugh sounds defensive: "We don't care about prime time. We don't care if the rest of the country knows about us. We're not trying to impress anybody." Oh, go on, John, impress us.

LINE: Ravens by 5.

JERRY: Ravens by 14.

Tampa Bay (9-3) at Carolina (9-3)

Monday Night Football

This may be a Monday horror-fest as Bucs Coach Jon "Chucky" Gruden says of Panthers WR Steve Smith, who has 12 catches for 273 yards in last two games: "He's a nightmare. He's like Freddy Krueger to me." Chucky vs. Freddy! Who wins?

LINE: Panthers by 3.

JERRY: Freddy by 5.

Last week

When 10 of the 11 games played Sunday afternoon were won by the road teams, it knocked most of you for a loop. But not your esteemed expert, as I finished in the 97th percentile of our 2,312 players with a lofty 12-4 (121-70-1 for season, 63 percent right). And against the spread it was 9-7 (95-91-6 for season), but we don't care about that. Of course, great as it is to be in the 97th percentile (tying my season's best), some were greater.

Beat Jerry

Two players were the greatest of all at 14-2. Garrison Douglas of Orlando is our champion, getting past Doug Vaughn of Lake Mary on the tie-breaker questions. So Garrison will soon be wearing the coveted "Beat Jerry" T-shirt. And if somehow you are not a player, there's still time to join the fun by registering at OrlandoSentinel.sportsballot.com -- making your picks and earning a raffle ticket for every correct pick that gives you a chance at some fabulous prizes -- plus the glory of Beating Jerry.